Mad Scientist High

Dear Prospective Student -

Greetings and salutations from Herman Kahn Memorial High School, or as it’s colloquially known, Mad Scientist High. As a leader in secondary education, Herman Kahn Memorial has, for nearly 40 years, equipped young men and women with the knowledge and abilities they need to participate in a volatile, ever-changing world and bend it to their will. As the human race now finds itself racing toward so many disasters, the leadership of passionate, trained scientists is as important as ever.

We’ve built our reputation on our rigorous screening process, so simply by reading this letter, you should feel a sense of pride slip over you like a well-tailored lab coat. Your accomplishments are significantly impressive that we feel you’re qualified to know of our existence! Would you like to know more? Just mail back the postage-paid postcard included with this correspondence, and a member of our distinguished faculty will contact you regarding application, an interview, or even a campus visit (though, please note that you will not be allowed to enter the Cybernetic Rocketry labs during your visit. While Herman Kahn Memorial still disputes its liability for the unfortunate accidents of the past, we are taking steps to prevent previous tragedies from repeating themselves).

However, pride alone will not enable you to dominate the globe through advanced scientific research and technique. The course of study you will undertake at Herman Kahn Memorial will be more rigorous, and more rewarding, than any you have ever known. Dr. Franklin Serra teaches Experimental Mathematics classes so difficult that they literally risk altering the fundamental nature of life on this planet, Dr. Werner Schultz’s courses in Genetics consistently produce mutated monsters capable of squishing Godzilla underfoot, and Professor E.L. Brown offers the most comprehensive course in Temporal Mechanics this hemisphere has ever seen (and will ever see, if he has his way). Herman Kahn Memorial is growing our liberal arts departments, too; Robert Willis, the new head of our English department, has a Bachelor of Arts from Columbia, and an M.F.A. from the University of Iowa’s Writer’s Workshop. Over seventy percent of our graduates have been accepted to the Zwicky School in Bern (with its satellite campus in San Francisco), Aldini Università in Palermo, and the Brukhonenko Institute in Moscow. Even those that do not choose to go on to study science leadership at a higher academic level find themselves well-prepared for any way they wish to enter the world.

Work-study grants and full academic scholarships are available to those who qualify.

In solidarity against the trials that may lie ahead,

The Dean & Faculty of Herman Kahn Memorial